Keeping the Spark Alive Beyond the Honeymoon Stage with Jason and Tina Marie Scott
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with relationship coaches, podcast hosts, and longtime partners Jason and Tina Marie Scott. We explore what it really takes to keep love alive beyond the honeymoon stage—and how a thriving relationship is built not on perfection, but on presence, communication, and intentional care.
During this conversation, Jason and Tina Marie discuss the foundation of friendship in their 33-year marriage, how they’ve redefined traditional roles in their partnership, and why self-awareness is key to lasting intimacy. Along the way, they share their own story—from a bumpy first meeting to creating a life of love, laughter, and growth together.
They also introduce their Manifest Method, a practical framework couples can use to strengthen communication, deepen emotional connection, and bring intention into everyday interactions. With tools like their 20 Emotional Intimacy Questions, they offer a clear path for couples to reconnect and evolve—together.
This episode is packed with heart, humor, and wisdom—and a reminder that great relationships don’t just happen. They’re created, moment by moment, with care.
Connect with Jason and Tina Marie Scott
Website https://legendaryrelationship.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/legendaryrelationship/
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In our commitment accessibility, help make this podcast more accessible to those who are hearing impaired or those who like to read rather than listen to podcasts. The transcription is far from perfect, and in some cases quite amusing. As we grow edited transcripts are on the list in the meantime please enjoy.
Deborah Kat [00:04:00]:
Beautiful. And I'll invite you to tell them all of that towards the end again. Okay, on that note, let's go ahead and jump in. I'm going to just go ahead and start with the Better Sex Podcast part. All right. Welcome to the Better Sex podcast. My name is Deborah Kat and I am your shameless host. This podcast is has unfiltered conversations about sex and relationships and these conversations can be frank and explicit, so they may not be appropriate for all audiences.
Deborah Kat [00:04:33]:
Please listen with care. I truly believe that a sexy world creates a happier and a safer world. If you want to do your part to create a safe and sexy world, please hit subscribe like and leave a message or a comment. Today I am talking with Jason and Tina Marie Scott. They are certified life and relationship coaches. They are the co hosts of Loving beyond the Loving beyond the I Do podcast. The authors of the best selling book manifest a joy filled relationship. They have over 33 years of marriage and experience in helping couples foster deeper connections and intimacy.
Deborah Kat [00:05:21]:
And I am so thrilled you guys are here today. So first question, how did you meet?
Tina Marie Scott [00:05:29]:
Jason has a long drawn out story, but I'll give you the short version.
Jason Scott [00:05:33]:
And then I'm going to give you the real authentic version.
Deborah Kat [00:05:36]:
All right, I'm all ears. You got me here.
Tina Marie Scott [00:05:40]:
So actually we met through friends. My friend was going on a date with his friend and I just happened to be over my friend's house. And he happened to be with his friend. And that's kind of how we met.
Jason Scott [00:05:54]:
Now here's my side of the story. So the week before, our friends met at a party, and I was with my friend. So he said the next weekend, he said, hey, man, you want to go out to the movies? And I said, sure, we can go out to the movies. He said, yeah. He said, then after that, I'm gonna go over the young lady's house. I said, great. And then he said, we went to the movies and everything. And then he said, hey, well, Jay, you know what? She said her friend wouldn't like you.
Jason Scott [00:06:19]:
She wouldn't be interested in you.
Tina Marie Scott [00:06:21]:
I said, he told, he told my friend told him, oh, I have a friend over here. And he said, great, I have my friend with me. And he said, she said, oh, my, My friend would. Wouldn't be interested in your friend.
Jason Scott [00:06:30]:
So then I said, because she's.
Tina Marie Scott [00:06:32]:
What is. You missed that part. Because of what?
Jason Scott [00:06:34]:
What?
Tina Marie Scott [00:06:34]:
Because she's a head turner.
Jason Scott [00:06:35]:
She's a head turner. I said, oh, I'm a head turner too. So I walk in there, I have big energy now, right? So I, I'm just. I'm like, okay, so you don't like me. I don't like her. I don't know what she looked like. I don't know anything. But I'm coming there.
Jason Scott [00:06:49]:
Well, you know, with my shoulders up tall, right? So we walking in now. Here, here's the thing. My buddy said, he asked me to go to the movies with them. I said, okay, great. So we went to the movies, had a great time. We get to the, to the young lady's house around six, seven o'clock that evening. A Saturday evening, Right. I did not know that he was supposed to take her to the movies.
Jason Scott [00:07:09]:
So she's at home waiting, right, to go to the movie. So I'm walking in with this big energy, and there's a lot of energy already in the room.
Tina Marie Scott [00:07:19]:
Yeah, because we were upset because my friend had told me he would be there. He was coming by to pick her up and she just wanted me there because she was home alone. And she was like, I don't want to be here by myself when, you know, when he arrives. She never told me he had a friend with him. She thought he was coming to pick her up and they were going to go out and eat and enjoy themselves. So I arrived at her house around 12:00 noon. And we're sitting there waiting. 1:00, 2:00, 3:00, 4:00.
Tina Marie Scott [00:07:50]:
It's like 7. 7:30. It's getting dark. I think it was a little dark outside.
Jason Scott [00:07:55]:
It was dark because it was close to one.
Tina Marie Scott [00:07:57]:
It was just crazy. I'm like, where is he? And she's like, I don't know. So, you know, it was the time before cell phones.
Jason Scott [00:08:08]:
It was no way to call us because we were out at the movies.
Tina Marie Scott [00:08:10]:
Yeah.
Jason Scott [00:08:11]:
So we walk in, and I noticed. I'm like, okay, it's a lot of energy in here. But I, you know, I gotta stick to my guns because she don't like me. She's not gonna be interested.
Tina Marie Scott [00:08:19]:
Be interested.
Jason Scott [00:08:19]:
She's not gonna be interested. So I can't be interested in her. I can't. So then I get there, and we're joking and stuff. And then I actually made the young lady upset. So it was just a lot of dynamics going on.
Tina Marie Scott [00:08:31]:
So there was a lot of sarcasm because I told my friend, don't open the door. I was like, don't, Don't.
Jason Scott [00:08:35]:
Don't let.
Tina Marie Scott [00:08:35]:
Don't let him in. She was like, but. And she was like, he has a friend. I'm like, why does he have a friend with him if you guys were supposed to be going out? She was like, oh, he told me he had a friend. I was like, don't let him in. Like, there are so many hours late. He didn't call. He didn't give you an excuse.
Tina Marie Scott [00:08:49]:
I was upset. I was like, you don't do that to people the first time you're planning to go out with them. So we were real. I was really upset.
Jason Scott [00:08:58]:
It was a melting pot of mess.
Tina Marie Scott [00:09:00]:
Yes.
Jason Scott [00:09:01]:
Hurt feelings. So then we get in, and we're going through all. All of our things, and then Tina pulls out. This is how interested she was in the conversation. She pulls out some fingernail polish and start painting her nails.
Tina Marie Scott [00:09:12]:
Because I just didn't want to be bothered with them.
Jason Scott [00:09:14]:
And I said. I said, oh, man. I said, you need some help with that? I can. I can help. I can paint your nails for you. She says, really? I'm like, yeah, I know how to paint nails. I. I grew up with three sisters, so I had that on lock, right.
Jason Scott [00:09:27]:
So I dropped down on one knee. She was sitting on the couch, and I was painting her nails. And my buddy was like, jay, dude, what. What are you doing? Why are you doing this, man? You embarrassing me. I'm like, oh, man, this is nothing. I'm like, really? I need to be distracted from what's Going on. Right. So I'm painting.
Jason Scott [00:09:41]:
And then I just happened. I just happened to glance in her eyes, and I said, and you got some beautiful eyes. But then I didn't think enough. I kept on going.
Tina Marie Scott [00:09:51]:
He was trying to drop a line.
Jason Scott [00:09:53]:
I didn't know I was trying to drop a line. But I got caught up. I looked. I looked into her eyes. And then after that, we just kind of left to give them. And then as we left to give them space, we just walked around the neighborhood just to talk.
Tina Marie Scott [00:10:06]:
Yeah. So we. We decided to leave and give them an opportunity to talk and get to know each other. So we left because, like, he said, it was. I was throwing sarcasm and foul remarks about, you know, about them. And so we were like, okay, well, we're just going to leave and give you guys an opportunity. So as we left, we just, as he said, walked around the neighborhood, kind of got to know each other. And it was just really an authentic conversation.
Tina Marie Scott [00:10:30]:
It really was. It was. He wasn't to hit on me. And plus, I had made it very clear that I was on my way off to college. And I, you know, I was not looking for, you know, because we were just talking. I was like, well, yeah, I'm on my way off to college. And so we just kind of connected. Yeah, we.
Tina Marie Scott [00:10:47]:
We were friends for. So he asked me to call him. He said, if I give you my number, would you call me? And I had no intention of calling him, but he kept asking me, you know, well, don't take my number if you're not going to call me, please, you know, well, you know, I'll just take it back if you're not going to call. Just be honest. And he was like, you know, I just want to talk. And so I said. He kept saying. He said, well, promise you're going to call.
Tina Marie Scott [00:11:06]:
And so I promise. And I'm a person of my word. So I did call, and we just. We really had good conversation. So from that day forward, I think it was about a month before I was leaving, off to college. We just talked every day, went out, had fun, and we were just friends. So we were friends for two years, then we dated for two years, and then we got admit. Got married.
Jason Scott [00:11:27]:
Yeah.
Tina Marie Scott [00:11:27]:
So that's the long and short.
Jason Scott [00:11:28]:
Yeah, I was. I was in the friend zone for so long. I have PTSD about it. So I don't.
Deborah Kat [00:11:34]:
Now, wait a second. I have a question about the friend zone, because I really, like. I mean, clearly you guys have an amazing relationship, and it started really, truly, authentically. Yes, as friends. Yes, as authentically as you can get, apparently. And, and, but I mean, I think friendship is really important and especially when you're in a long term relationship. Because what I've observed and you can tell me, you know, what you've, you've experienced here is it's like when you're in a long term relationship, you play all the different parts, right. Your friends, your lovers, your frenemies, your, you know, your, each other's opportunity.
Deborah Kat [00:12:15]:
Yeah. You know, all these different things. But like when you have that solid companionship and friendship, you've got a lot to grow with. And that kind of brings us to, you know, the topic that we were going to talk about, which is how do you have that spark? How do you keep the spark long term?
Tina Marie Scott [00:12:34]:
You know, I think that's a great question. What people don't realize is that your relationship is just like a car. So we would never buy a car and just say, I'm going to fill up the tank one time, I'm going to do one tire rotation, I'm going to do one maintenance and then it's going to last me forever. That's where we go wrong in relationships. You have to do the required maintenance. You have to do the tune ups. You have to make sure that you're filling up your love tanks. You have to make sure that you're changing the tire when it's flat, but that you're doing it with the right tools.
Tina Marie Scott [00:13:08]:
Right. So we would never take a hammer to try to change a flat tire. They're actual tools that we need. Right. Everything. I wouldn't try to bake a cake with a. Well, I hope I wouldn't with the screwdriver.
Jason Scott [00:13:21]:
Right.
Tina Marie Scott [00:13:23]:
So there's, we have tools for each job. We have to understand in relationships there's a tool for everything. So we're doing the required maintenance. Then the love is going to keep humming, you're going to keep going. And that doesn't mean that it's not going to get hard.
Jason Scott [00:13:41]:
Right.
Tina Marie Scott [00:13:41]:
That doesn't mean that you're not going to have challenges. That means, I mean our cars break down sometime, don't they? Didn't your car break down sometimes?
Jason Scott [00:13:48]:
Yeah, but you know where to take it. You take it to the technician and then you get it repaired.
Tina Marie Scott [00:13:53]:
You figure it out or you figure it out going on, right? What, what happened? Where did we go wrong? So you go and get a diagnosis. Right. So it's the same thing with us. You have to sit back and say, but the problem again with, in relationships Is that we want to diagnose our partner. We want to say, what's wrong with them? Well, they don't do this, and they didn't do that, and he stopped doing this. Not sometimes, you know, when they talk about that pointing the finger, you know, there's four or three pointing back at you or whatever the saying is. So we have to realize that what is our part? What did we do? Did I not fill up the tank? Am I looking for him to fill my tank up? Like, so we have to make sure that we are asking the right questions and we're using the right tools. I know I said a lot.
Deborah Kat [00:14:36]:
You did. And I've got questions. So when you say fill up the tank. Right. I mean, that seems obvious, but what are ways in which people can fill up their own tanks?
Tina Marie Scott [00:14:53]:
They're love tanks. We call them love tanks.
Jason Scott [00:14:55]:
Yep. So here's the thing. Everybody's love tank is different. No, it's. And this is where the conversation needs to happen. So you need to find out how your partner needs their love tank filled, because what fills up one person will not fill up the other person. Then this is where we get into, you know, problems when we try to give people our love the way we want to receive it to them.
Deborah Kat [00:15:20]:
Yes.
Jason Scott [00:15:22]:
So once we have this conversation, and most people don't have it, because everything. In the beginning, everything is great.
Tina Marie Scott [00:15:27]:
Right.
Jason Scott [00:15:27]:
You could bring me some roses. You can bring me this, you can bring me that. I'm happy. We're good. But after a while, you get to a point like, okay, you don't even know me. You're buying me gifts. You don't know who I am. Now, I'm.
Jason Scott [00:15:38]:
I'm resentful for the gifts that I get, because I feel like you, deep down, you don't know me, because we never had a conversation about it. Right. So we never had a conversation about it. I'm buying you what I think you would want. Like, what every woman would want, which is too general. Right. Because I'm not dating every woman. I'm dating you.
Jason Scott [00:15:54]:
And I'm buying for you.
Deborah Kat [00:15:57]:
You got to pause there for just a second, because I really want to underline the difference between dating every woman and dating the woman in front of you, because I think that's a big yes.
Tina Marie Scott [00:16:11]:
Love that.
Deborah Kat [00:16:12]:
I love that. But that's so true. I mean, I think, you know, one of the. One of the mistakes that. That we all make is that it's like, you know, there's so many generalities that we make about the opposite Sex.
Tina Marie Scott [00:16:26]:
Absolutely.
Deborah Kat [00:16:27]:
And there's so many, you know, like, the reality is, is that there's, you know, our partner may not be feel maybe feeling off one day. And so what worked that day is not going to work the next day. But being really present with like, who are you in this moment and who are you today? And especially in the long term relationships. Because I'm going to imagine that you're a bit different than you were 33 years ago. Right?
Jason Scott [00:16:52]:
Yeah.
Tina Marie Scott [00:16:53]:
You know what? We're, we're smarter, we're wiser, we're less reactive now. We're still silly, right? We still have a great relationship, we still enjoy life. Yes. But it was through a lot more wisdom. Yes. It was through trial and error because we were really young when we got married and we had no idea what marriage was. We had the same idea everyone has. This is what you do when you grow up, you get married, but no one gives you a roadmap.
Tina Marie Scott [00:17:21]:
Right. It's just like motherhood even. But even with motherhood, there's books. This is what you can expect. This is what you should do. This is not necessarily a marriage. There's more now. And so we really sought out the books that, you know, where are the books out there that I can read to understand.
Tina Marie Scott [00:17:39]:
There was one book that I read early in our marriage and it was called Fit to Be Tied. And it was just a revelation because it took highlighted how we look at our environment. And so the person was saying, you know, if your dad was a dad that fixed everything around the house, when you get married, you just assume that your husband can do that. Now that's a very good generality because it wasn't until we got married and bought our first home, which was two years after we got married, two or three years after we got married, that I realized that my husband could not paint.
Jason Scott [00:18:20]:
Actually, I couldn't. I couldn't. That's not the only thing I could not do. So Tina grew up in a home, in a house. I grew up in an apartment. I didn't have to fix anything. I called a landlord. So I didn't know how to fix anything.
Jason Scott [00:18:33]:
And she knew how to fix everything.
Tina Marie Scott [00:18:36]:
Because I had sisters, my mom had four girls and I had a brother. But when my mom and dad divorced, the son went with my dad. So when, when I was, when we were there, we had to do everything we know how. I mean, me and my.
Jason Scott [00:18:51]:
I didn't even know how to cut grass. Okay, My wife's out there cutting grass in the new house. It was it was just interesting.
Deborah Kat [00:18:57]:
All right, now I haven't. Now I have another question. You have this knowledge, right? And. And you don't. And. And generally speaking, you know, we expect men to be able to fix things and women to be able to cook and all those good things. So how. How did the negotiations learn how to cut grass or fix the thing?
Tina Marie Scott [00:19:17]:
No, I think that's what makes our relationship different. We never.
Jason Scott [00:19:23]:
I'll say this. I tried, but I could never get the line straight.
Tina Marie Scott [00:19:27]:
And I said, it looks like a cat licked the grass. Have you ever seen a cat lick somebody? So I was like, no, but that's the great thing about when you go into. With a friendship. You know, like you said that basis of a friendship, you don't go into your relationship with preconceived ideas or. Or unspoken expectations. Right. I think that's one of the biggest benefits we had.
Jason Scott [00:19:54]:
Yep.
Tina Marie Scott [00:19:55]:
It was like, okay, you can't do it. All right, I know how. It's not a big thing. We never fell into gender roles. So let me let Jason tell you about, you know, his uncle. And in our book, it's actually in there, his uncle, when he came to visit.
Jason Scott [00:20:06]:
Oh, it was interesting, right? So he comes in and the floors are shining right there. They were just done waxing everything. And then he looks out the window and he sees the beautiful flowers, because flowers was everywhere. He goes, oh, Tina, your flowers are beautiful out there. He said, jason, you really knocked that floor out. I said, well, I did the flowers. Tina did the floor. And he was just.
Jason Scott [00:20:29]:
He was just confused.
Tina Marie Scott [00:20:31]:
But you see how society gives us these gender roles. So, you know, you stated about generalities. There's no one size fits all. What works in your relationship may not work in my relationship. So that's why it's important to have the right tools to understand, hey, who is this person I'm married to? What are their strength and weaknesses? And how do we combine them? You know, where he's weak and I'm strong. Let's. Let's work it out. And where I'm weak and he's strong, let's work it out.
Tina Marie Scott [00:21:01]:
That's what. It's a. It's a. You know, one time I asked my son, what do you think about marriage? And he said, it's a partnership. And I was just like, a partnership. Like, I've never. It is. But I was like, more like, oh, wow, that's transactional.
Deborah Kat [00:21:14]:
Yeah.
Tina Marie Scott [00:21:15]:
I was like, it's love, it's romance. He was like, it's a partnership, but it really is. When you get down to it, it's a partnership.
Jason Scott [00:21:22]:
Yeah.
Tina Marie Scott [00:21:22]:
Right. Yeah.
Jason Scott [00:21:23]:
You have to respect him.
Tina Marie Scott [00:21:24]:
And even most of that is how do we communicate that? How do we communicate that effectively so that our partner is not having these unspoken expectations and we're. And resentment and hatred and not being able to talk or communicate. That's coming in. So, you know, we have to be able to understand that. How do we effectively communicate who we are?
Jason Scott [00:21:47]:
It takes a level of maturity as well to say, my wife can do this better than I can. And it's normally a man's role. So I was never. I never felt like I was less than a man because I didn't know how to cut grass or paint or do anything around the house. Right. The things I knew how to do, I knew how to do. Thank God for YouTube. I learned.
Tina Marie Scott [00:22:08]:
Yeah, YouTube.
Jason Scott [00:22:09]:
I got. I got my. I got my certificate from YouTube.
Tina Marie Scott [00:22:13]:
Yes.
Jason Scott [00:22:13]:
I learned how to do some things right. I built the whole entire basement. So. Thank you. You know. You know, I grew. She grew. She didn't make me feel less than anything.
Jason Scott [00:22:23]:
So that's one thing that we had. We had maturity on our side.
Tina Marie Scott [00:22:27]:
Yeah. And that. And that right there keeps romance alive. It keeps the intimacy alive. There's nothing better than seeing a man work. Yep.
Jason Scott [00:22:36]:
Even if it is outside with flowers.
Tina Marie Scott [00:22:39]:
I mean, really, I just loved to see him. He took so much pride in putting the flowers down.
Jason Scott [00:22:45]:
That was beautiful.
Tina Marie Scott [00:22:46]:
And I was like, I'm not gonna help, because every plant I get dies. Every plan. You know, people talk about the peace Lily, and I've gotten several of those. And I'm like, I have no idea what you guys are talking about. My peace Lily is dead within a week. So I'm just terrible with. So I don't even bother with the flowers. But, you know, it's just being able to have fun in it.
Tina Marie Scott [00:23:16]:
Life is about having fun. It's not always about trying to be who's over who or trying to be right. Or it's about, hey, how do we make it through the next day? And just when challenges come up, we're just gonna tackle them together.
Jason Scott [00:23:29]:
There you go.
Deborah Kat [00:23:30]:
I love that. Well, and I just really wanna underline a few things that you guys have said. Cause there's just been so much. So much big up here. But really starting, you know, like the. Even starting with the idea of love as partnership. Right. I think one of the big things that we grow up with often is this idea that love is gonna get us through everything.
Deborah Kat [00:23:51]:
And love is a beautiful thing. And we need it and we want it, and it's, you know, it's supported by these other ideas and by these other skills. And so the idea of partnership and being able to see what your partner does well and praise them for it, then, you know, let them off the hook on things that they don't do well.
Tina Marie Scott [00:24:15]:
Right.
Deborah Kat [00:24:16]:
And so I super appreciate that. And then the idea of like, so you used maturity a couple of times. And I'm curious what you mean by that.
Jason Scott [00:24:28]:
Well, with maturity, it means that if I feel like I'm right, I don't back down. Right. I'm going to make sure you understand that I'm right. It takes a level of maturity to understand that this isn't my strong suit. I can't do this. I can force myself to try to do it, and I can make it look bad or make it look ugly, but just doing it just because I'm supposed to do it, society says I'm supposed to. I can step back and say, this is not my strong suit. Baby, you're better at this.
Jason Scott [00:24:58]:
Go ahead and take care of this. Because I know you're going to make the house look good or you're going to take care of the situation that needs to be taken care of. So. But for me, I think it'll be childish to say, I'm the man, I'm supposed to do it and I'm going to do it. And then I jack it up and it looks bad and the wife's upset.
Tina Marie Scott [00:25:16]:
Because you've wasted money, you've wasted time. Now you're arguing over something that could have been eliminated, right? That's the level of maturity. Being able to, to actually step into a role and say, you know what? I don't have to follow society's norms. We can figure this out ourselves. What, what's your strong suit?
Jason Scott [00:25:35]:
Right? And you know, you've mentioned about love. Okay, whose version of love are we living right? Is it your version of love? Is it society's version of love? Is it your generational learn behavior behavior that you living out? Is that that version of love? So it's many different versions of love before we actually get to our version of love, right? When we first got married, on the way to the limo, someone said to me, now don't forget, Jason, your money is your money and Tina's money is her money. And I said, we don't really have that much money in the first place. So we're gonna put out two nothings together. We're gonna come up with something, right? So but again, that's someone else's way of doing things, right? We're new. This is. We. We haven't even been married 24 hours right before we get this.
Jason Scott [00:26:24]:
And I said, no, that's not gonna work for me. We're gonna figure this out, and money is not going to be the issue. We're not gonna. We're not gonna fight about money. So money has never been an issue because we never made it an issue. Whatever. In the bank, everyone's free to put their hands on and do whatever. Now we know what needs to be taken care of.
Jason Scott [00:26:40]:
We just going to be responsible with that. But you don't have to ask me for anything. I know this for us. And I thought that this is how majority of the couples did that. What went in the bank, went in the bank. And then if you wanted to get buy something, you bought it. I didn't have to ask for a loan or borrow money from my wife. Excuse me, but most people have two separate bank accounts and they have one for the house, which is fine.
Jason Scott [00:27:08]:
That works for them, and that's okay. There's nothing wrong with that. But I feel like the money goes in one, one, you know, one pot, and then from there we can spend. I don't know. I don't normally buy anything.
Tina Marie Scott [00:27:23]:
It's two adults.
Jason Scott [00:27:24]:
It's two adults. I'm responsible. Again, a level of maturity, right? Some people. I had one lady tell me once, we were talking, oh, I can't put my money with my husband. I said, oh, my goodness. I said, you don't even trust your husband with much, you know? O, no, I don't.
Deborah Kat [00:27:37]:
And that.
Tina Marie Scott [00:27:37]:
That right there is. Lets you know that there's underlying issues there, whether it's her past, whether it's her belief, whether it's what happened, whether it's something that happened with her parents. But then I want to go back to the love issue, right? So first of all, we have to understand when we're talking about love, we can't come into a relationship looking for someone to love us. We have to love ourselves first. Because if I know what love feels like, it's. If I know what love looks like to me now, I'm. I'm letting my partner know. But if I'm coming to you empty.
Tina Marie Scott [00:28:12]:
So to my love tank, right? So if I'm coming to. If. If you're going into a relationship looking for someone to love you up, to fill you up with love, that means you're taking their version of love, right? You have no, they have no idea. If you don't know what love looks like and feels like to you, how can you possibly expect someone else to give that to you? You know, and that's just a very, you know, love is something that we have to self love. I have to love all of the ugly parts, the beautiful parts, the in between, the smart parts, the not so smart parts. I have to love everything about me, and that means that I'm not comparing myself. And when we do that, we don't have to feel jealous, we don't have to feel envious. We don't have to look for our partner to love us, to make us complete.
Tina Marie Scott [00:28:59]:
That means I'm coming into a relationship where I'm loving myself. Now I have enough to overcome overflow and love you as well, because. But if I'm looking for you to fill me up, that means what am I bringing to the relationship? That means I'm empty. I have nothing to give you.
Jason Scott [00:29:13]:
Right.
Tina Marie Scott [00:29:13]:
And so when I look to you.
Jason Scott [00:29:15]:
You won't give me anything. Right. If I'm bringing everything, I'm like, okay, so what do you think about this? I don't know. Whatever you think. I'm asking you because I'm done thinking.
Tina Marie Scott [00:29:26]:
I mean, there's so many dimensions to. To relationships that we just really have. But like we said, it's like onions. There's so many different layers that we really, when we take the time to realize, what do I. You know, we also have a podcast, and we had a guest on, and we were talking to her, and so now she's in her second marriage, but she was saying she got married early on and she didn't know what she wanted in a marriage. Just like I didn't even know. I didn't know what I wanted. I didn't know what I liked.
Tina Marie Scott [00:29:55]:
I had no. I mean, but that's the truth. We just don't know it. Until we take the time to discover who we are and what we want, we cannot effectively communicate that to someone else. Then we get upset.
Deborah Kat [00:30:08]:
Right, right, right, right. So I want to dive a little bit more into the manifest framework. And so. And so. But first, I want to give people an opportunity to know how they can support the better sex podcast. So I'm going to give you a moment to think about what you want to bring and let people know that sex is a complex subject and it can make or break a relationship. And unfortunately, most of us don't grow up with an environment where talking about sex is welcome. That's why I'm offering the Sexual breakthrough bedroom session, A personalized one on one experience for a more satisfying sex life.
Deborah Kat [00:30:48]:
Because let's face it, a podcast, even as good as this one, is not enough. You need some tools and you need some practice. So if that's something you're interested in, please check out the show notes and let's talk. All right, so tell me about the framework of the, of the. The manifest framework.
Jason Scott [00:31:09]:
Yes. So it's the manifest method, and that's what we use on this to help individuals create and develop the type of relationship they truly want. So what we do is we spell out manifest.
Tina Marie Scott [00:31:22]:
Yeah, so when we're talking about manifest, we take the M, the A, the N, the I, the F, E, S, T, and we give you tools to use. So the M stands for mindset, the A stands for awareness, the N stands for nurture. And so it's just continually like that. So the I stands for intention, and the F stands for focus, and then the E stands for empower, and then the S stands for to strengthen your relationship. And then the T is ultimately what we want to do is transform our relationships from it is to where we want it to be. So it's about transformation. So we use those, that particular framework to help people to create and nurture and cultivate and create the type of relationship that they really truly want. And like we said before, right, the type of relationship that I want may not be the type of relationship that you want.
Tina Marie Scott [00:32:10]:
How you feel loved and appreciated may not be the way I feel loved and appreciated. So we have to do the work ourselves, because in love, there's no one size fits all. I don't care how many shirts we buy that says one size fits all. It does not. I, I'm living proof that it does not.
Jason Scott [00:32:27]:
I want to dive into the just the mindset portion of the framework. So like the mindset, it refers to like a mentality, an attitude, a frame of mind. And we relate all of our letters to a law. And the law that we associate mindset with is the law of cause and effect, which is chapter five in our book. And what it says is that every action produces an equivalent reaction. That means that every positive or negative interaction leaves an imprint on your relationship, influencing the level of intimacy, trust, and emotional safety.
Tina Marie Scott [00:33:11]:
So when we understand that, when we're talking about your mindset, we relate it, you know, cause and effect. What causes am I doing that's producing these type of effects in my relationship? Because we always want to blame someone else. It's not my fault, it's my Mom's, it's my neighbors, it's my bosses, the way I was raised, it's definitely my spouses, if they would just get their act together. Right. So we have to understand, it's a mindset. And then we, you know, when we're talking about like awareness and understanding that what is awareness? How do we become aware of what we're doing? So it's our attention, it's our consciousness. Right. We have to understand.
Tina Marie Scott [00:33:48]:
So we relate that to the law of attraction and it's what we put out, we bring back, that's what we attract. So people sometimes get confused with what the law of attraction is. It's what you are actually emitting. That's what the type of experiences you're going to attract, the type of relationship you're going to have. So it's really understanding what are these, these universal laws. Right. Because the law is the law and the laws are the laws. They're there just like the law of gravity.
Tina Marie Scott [00:34:19]:
We can believe it or not believe it, but if you go to the top of a building and think you're going to walk in midair. So it's, it's like these laws exist and if we know what we're doing and how to apply them just to just a bit. Because if we can under, if we are, if we're aware and we can understand things better, we can make better choices.
Deborah Kat [00:34:40]:
Yeah. So I want to go back to, as you said, you know, filling your tank and the law of attraction seem like they would be very similar. So if you know yourself well, you know, if your tank is full and you're feeling, you know, if you're feeling amorous or you're feeling loving and you're going to attract more of that to you and into your life and into your marriage.
Tina Marie Scott [00:35:10]:
Absolutely.
Deborah Kat [00:35:11]:
Is that right?
Tina Marie Scott [00:35:12]:
It is. Right. But, but the key thing that you said is if you know yourself. So sometimes we think that we're sending out vibrations of love, but we're not.
Jason Scott [00:35:24]:
So sometimes you're saying that we are.
Tina Marie Scott [00:35:26]:
Right. So I may, I may feel maybe a day I'm off, right. And I may feel like I need a little bit more, more love or support today. And because of that, I may actually be a little bit upset. Upset or a little bit, you know, not my high voltage self. So I may be snappy, I may be irritated, I may be saying things or doing things where I think that I'm radiating love. Right. But I'm actually radiating at a lower frequency.
Tina Marie Scott [00:35:56]:
And so I'm not giving out what I want return. But what's going to happen is I'm going to attract what I'm giving out. So if my partner turns around and snaps at me and I'm like, well, all I wanted was some love, like, it's just not gonna happen. We have to come. We have to know ourselves and know what we're doing. Because so many times people say, well, that's not true. I'm attracting something that I'm totally not. We can't be fooled by what.
Tina Marie Scott [00:36:21]:
And again, it states it in our book. We cannot be fooled by what we think we're giving. We have to be aware, what am I truly doing? What part am I playing? Do I come home sometimes? And I'm. Because of the stresses of the day, I am a little irritable. I am a little snappy. I'm not very loving. But I want you to love me anyway. And that's important.
Tina Marie Scott [00:36:45]:
Right. When we want to, you know, love me when I'm unlovable, but how many times? Right? So we have to be careful. What energy are we putting out? You know, people say you can walk into a room and you can feel, you know, you can. What is it? You can cut.
Jason Scott [00:36:58]:
Yeah, you can cut the tension.
Tina Marie Scott [00:37:00]:
Cut the tension with a knife. What does that mean? Is anybody saying anything? No, but you can feel. Feel the energy, right? Our partners can feel the energy that's coming off of us. So sometimes we may think we're giving love, but we may be given a little hate. You know, we may be given a little irritation. So.
Deborah Kat [00:37:18]:
Absolutely. And I'm. I'm curious about that because. So in. In my relationship, one of the things that we've developed is what we call safe words. Right. So I'll be grumpy. And my partner, you know, he's like.
Deborah Kat [00:37:31]:
You know, he's like, do you want to hug? Right. And that's kind of our safe word because, you know, that's generally what I'm looking for is to be held anyway. And, you know, so I. I hear that. My first reaction is like, no, I don't want to hug. Okay. Actually, I do want to, you know, thank you. Thank you recognizing where I'm at.
Deborah Kat [00:37:56]:
Thank you for, like, you know, giving me the signal. And I'm curious if you have. If you have signals that you guys give each other.
Tina Marie Scott [00:38:05]:
Well, we have. We. We created a safe space. Right. So we have love talks.
Jason Scott [00:38:09]:
Yep.
Tina Marie Scott [00:38:10]:
So when one of us is a little out of alignment. Right. A little grumpy, a little upset, or. Or I want to really communicate something. To him or he wants to communicate something to me where, you know, we can separate it from our feelings or maybe we argued about it, or both of us have not. Not been able to come to terms with it. We have love talks, and.
Jason Scott [00:38:32]:
And at that time, love talk means everything goes off. I need your undivided attention. I don't need you to respond. I just need you to listen and listen only. I don't need you to fix the problem. I just need you to listen so then I can be heard. And at that point, it's just one issue at a time, right? So if Tina has an issue, say, I need to have a love talk. I know, okay, you get my undivided attention.
Tina Marie Scott [00:38:58]:
And we're open and receptive. We're approaching this with love. So now I'm listening not from a defensive stance, trying to fix it or.
Jason Scott [00:39:09]:
Get in there and get my answer.
Tina Marie Scott [00:39:11]:
It's just like, oh, okay, let's talk, and let's do it with love and respect. And it really. What it does is allows us to hear what the other person is saying.
Deborah Kat [00:39:21]:
And I'm. I'm gonna, you know, kind of get under that a little bit, because I know it can often feel like, oh, you know, it's like, can we talk about, you know, so how do you. How do you like.
Tina Marie Scott [00:39:35]:
Well, because it's not a we need.
Jason Scott [00:39:37]:
To talk now, if you came in me where we need to talk, I'm armoring up. I got all my armor on, right? Because I know it's about to come, right? But here I need a love talk. And we've already set the ground rules for that, right? So we already know. It's not aggressive. It's just that I really need to be able to talk, and I just really need you to listen at this point. I don't need you to go and fix it mode, because the first thing. What happens is Tina say something. And the first thing I'm trying to do is how do I fix what she's saying? I need to fix it, right? I need to make it right.
Jason Scott [00:40:10]:
But I'm missing the whole crust of the situation. I'm missing the whole. I'm missing the whole essence of what she's trying to tell me, right? Because I'm going into fix it mode. She goes. And so I had to take a step back. So when she said, we need love talk, like, okay, I don't need to try to fix it. I just need to listen and understand what she's trying to say. Because a lot of times, again, this is how miscommunication happened.
Jason Scott [00:40:35]:
Someone says something and I'm. And the other person is thinking, oh, I know how to fix that. Okay, I won't do that. And again, just that. But I'm. I'm not even really listening to what you're saying. I'm listening to what I'm thinking you're saying to respond.
Tina Marie Scott [00:40:45]:
Right, Right. And most of the time, it's just that. Or what has happened is that you've said this to your spouse before, whatever it may be, and you ended up still not agreeing, still not understanding, being heard.
Jason Scott [00:40:58]:
You haven't been. Yeah.
Tina Marie Scott [00:40:59]:
So. So what happens is that you have to create a safe space to be able to freely talk about whatever it is you need to talk about. Where there's. It's a no judgment zone, it's a no hostility zone. It's all about love. This is. I want to be able to just be able to say something, and you just hear me. And then.
Tina Marie Scott [00:41:18]:
And when you approach it in that manner. And now does it mean that when. When something is, you know, maybe something happened and we're a little irritated that we're gonna always do this? No.
Jason Scott [00:41:29]:
No.
Tina Marie Scott [00:41:29]:
We're human.
Jason Scott [00:41:30]:
Right?
Tina Marie Scott [00:41:30]:
Right. We have a human aspect of us, you know? Right. So we. We're gonna react sometimes. So. But it takes, like you said, those. But that's where we have to, like you said, which is a great tool, be able to put in place those tools, those mechanisms, those techniques so that we don't have to go down that road of arguing because you may not have known you were out of alignment. Right.
Tina Marie Scott [00:41:54]:
You're feeling a little irritable, and you want. You really do want a hug. You want to be loved, but because of your feeling the way you're feeling, you don't know how to always express that. And that's where we fall short. We don't always know how to communicate our needs to our mate. So we have to find out how can we do that effectively, where my mate is receiving it and I'm receiving for them. And it's no miscommunication. There's no unspoken expectations.
Tina Marie Scott [00:42:22]:
There's no hidden agendas that we're. We could, like, I can say, hey, baby, like you said, hey, you need a hug. Because he's trying to let you know, hey, you're not giving out love box right now.
Deborah Kat [00:42:36]:
I'm curious, in your. In your work, what are some of the misconceptions that you. That you hear from couples that, like.
Tina Marie Scott [00:42:46]:
You said, when two people. When I find that perfect mate and I get married, that all of my problems are, and issues are going to.
Jason Scott [00:42:52]:
Be gone, that the other person is going to make me happy. And it's a lot of false blaming. Well, I was, I'm good, but if my mate would do this, I would be even better.
Tina Marie Scott [00:43:04]:
So the mis, yeah, the misconception is that when you have two totally different people with two totally different backgrounds, two totally different ideas of life, right, we can love each other, but we really don't think alike on every level. So the misconception is that once you find love and you're feeling all, you're in utopia, right? You're. Everything is good. The rose colored glasses, that all the problems just disappear, right? Your money problems disappear, your, your anger problems disappear, your inability to communicate disappears. That's the misconception. People think that and that's really why our podcast is called Loving beyond the I do, because we think once we say I do, hey, we made it, we've crossed the finish line. And what they don't know is that.
Jason Scott [00:43:55]:
That'S where the fawn is just starting.
Tina Marie Scott [00:43:57]:
Yes, that's where everything starts.
Deborah Kat [00:44:00]:
You know, it's so interesting hearing you say that because there's the, there's the dating and you kind of need certain skills for dating, right? You need to kind of like, you know, bring that, that energy in, that, like, big energy that like. But that may or may not be great in, in marriage. And so, you know, what I'm hearing in terms of our conversation here is that some of the things that we really need in marriage is we need to be able to be, we need maturity and we need to know what our expectations are and we need to be able to figure out ourselves so that we can actually have conversations with our partners. What, what else is important in marriage?
Jason Scott [00:44:45]:
I think if we take care of ourselves, one that will solve a lot of problems. So I'll say this. However you grew up is either going to shape, it's going to mold you either way, right? Either I'm going to do what I saw when I was growing up or I'm going to do the total opposite, right? So when, when things come up and it says, I don't like that because my mother used to do that, and then when you do that, you send me into a 10 year old temper tantrum because I never dealt with what I didn't like about when my mother did that. So when you do it as a spouse, I'm confused or they're confused. Why are you getting upset when I do this? Because I didn't do anything, but you get triggered based on your 10 year old self. So if we can fix ourselves and live or have the relationship that we're supposed to have, that we truly want to have, not based on all the experiences from the past, because that's what's making up our relationships right now.
Tina Marie Scott [00:45:41]:
Our past and past experiences, relationships, past.
Jason Scott [00:45:45]:
The failures, the things I will and will not do. I won't tolerate this because I tolerate that from the last relationship. So I'm gonna be totally different. So then again, another thing that happens is we never show up as our authentic self. So when we don't show up as our authentic self, we truly come out later on and it's, and sometimes it causes a problem.
Tina Marie Scott [00:46:11]:
It's a relationship shaker. It's an earthquake.
Jason Scott [00:46:13]:
Right. And I think that's one of the biggest problems. We date, we're one person, we, we get engaged, we steal another person, and then after a while we truly show up.
Tina Marie Scott [00:46:27]:
And if we don't, as Jason said, if we don't do the self improvement, the self development and healing from our past wounds, you know, understanding, you know, my, my last relationship, it ended because of this. Let me, let me figure out why not, Let me, don't let me point the finger at. Because the thing is that the common denominator in all of your relationships are you. And so what's going on with me that either I can't see it, I don't understand it, I'm not. So there's something that we have to do as individuals if we really do want a healthy relationship. We have to go into the relationship as a whole person. We all have baggage, but how do we unpack that baggage so that it becomes more of a stepping stone instead of a brick in our backpack that's weighing us down? That's really the true, the true essence of creating healthy relationships, learning from the last one. Otherwise you're going to keep experiencing it.
Deborah Kat [00:47:28]:
I can't tell you how often I hear the phrase I keep dating the same, you know.
Tina Marie Scott [00:47:33]:
Yeah.
Deborah Kat [00:47:34]:
Over and over again.
Tina Marie Scott [00:47:35]:
Yeah.
Jason Scott [00:47:36]:
Because. Because you're the same person, you keep radiating the same energy.
Tina Marie Scott [00:47:40]:
And as you just said, the law of attraction. I'm not attracting what I want, I'm attracting who I am. And that's what we have to understand. Well, I, the law of attraction said if I think about this wonderful woman or this wonderful man and I, and I just focus on them and I just keep saying what I want, that I'm gonna get it. Yeah. They may come into your life, you May attract that. But they're not gonna stay.
Jason Scott [00:48:04]:
Nope.
Tina Marie Scott [00:48:04]:
You're gonna. They're gonna turn around, they're gonna walk back out, and then you're going to get the person who you had before because you're still the same person. You haven't done the self development, you haven't done the self work.
Deborah Kat [00:48:17]:
So I want to just invite. Let's talk a little bit about your free gift because I think that is such a beautiful offering and so helpful.
Tina Marie Scott [00:48:27]:
You can talk about it.
Jason Scott [00:48:28]:
All right, so we have 20 questions to start the dialogue between you and your mates. Right.
Tina Marie Scott [00:48:34]:
And that's for emotional intimacy.
Jason Scott [00:48:37]:
Yes.
Tina Marie Scott [00:48:37]:
And it can be either emotional intelligence too, because it helps. But emotional intimacy means that we are emotionally connecting. So when we talk about intimacy. Intimacy is another word that has many different definitions.
Jason Scott [00:48:51]:
Yes.
Tina Marie Scott [00:48:51]:
Come on. A man thinks it's sex.
Jason Scott [00:48:54]:
Oh, it's definitely sex.
Tina Marie Scott [00:48:55]:
It's definitely a woman sex. A woman thinks it's cuddling and, and holding hands and feeling close. But we have to understand intimacy has a lot of different definitions. So we first have to figure out what does it mean to our mate. So go ahead. So there's 20 questions.
Jason Scott [00:49:14]:
Yeah, it's 20 questions. And it's. It's a way to deeply understand your mate. Because there's things. And it goes back to childhood. It's asking some childhood questions and, and things of that nature. It really unpacks some things. We were working with a couple once and we shared something about one of the.
Jason Scott [00:49:30]:
One of the spouses childhood. And the spouse goes, oh, I didn't know that. And it's. Oh, you. You didn't know? I did. I didn't know him. I said, oh, okay. I said, well, there's some things that you guys need to talk about then.
Jason Scott [00:49:43]:
You know, it wasn't anything bad. It's just that he was very. The gentleman's very open about his past, if you asked. So if you don't know the questions to ask, you're not going to get the answers.
Tina Marie Scott [00:49:55]:
And sometimes, especially for men, and not always, but, you know, again, kind of a generalization, but men are not so. So easily, so easy to be open. It's like it. You either have to ask or it has to be in that space where it's kind of like the next logical answer. Otherwise, hey, you asked me this, I answered this. Where women, they're gonna say, oh.
Jason Scott [00:50:21]:
Yeah.
Tina Marie Scott [00:50:22]:
We just connect everything. So when I was 12 and then when I was 16, you know, and so as Jason said, you know, we have to find the ways because we don't, we don't always share in our relationship like we should because we feel like it's, it's irrelevant, it's not important. Well, that's, that, that's years ago. Why would I tell you about what happened?
Deborah Kat [00:50:43]:
Right?
Jason Scott [00:50:43]:
I feel like it's irrelevant. And that's why we have these 20 questions. So we can go back, we can go in the middle, and we can come to the present so we can cover all the bases, just general questions. So you can just ask and just have a conversation about it. That way you can, you can, you.
Tina Marie Scott [00:50:57]:
Can get one of these questions. I'm gonna need to put my glasses on for that. But let me get one of these questions. Let me see. So it says, what's a moment in your life that shaped who you are today? So we may have never shared that, right? One, we may have never thought about it. And two, we may have never shared it because if we are, if we have the type of personality where we're kind of quiet and reserved and we really don't like to share, our feelings get hurt easily. You know, what, what, what, what is it in your past that defined you, that made you feel as though, okay, I have to be quiet, right? Maybe I grew up in a home where, you know, a child should be seen and not heard. Maybe that was the basis.
Tina Marie Scott [00:51:42]:
Not really, you know, aggressive. Or maybe I had an aggressive parent and it made me kind of shy down. So really, sometimes we don't even ask ourselves these questions. So it helps you actually get to know you better, but then it gets your mate to know you from a different perspective. Because when we're dating, we usually don't ask these questions. And after we get married, we're just trying to make it work.
Jason Scott [00:52:05]:
Oh, we just gotta make this thing work, right?
Tina Marie Scott [00:52:09]:
That's not even part of the tune up. We're like, we don't even care. We're at this point right now, how can we, you know, what is the problem? So.
Jason Scott [00:52:15]:
And don't add kids to the mix. And then that just throws a whole different dynamics in there. When you had children in there.
Tina Marie Scott [00:52:22]:
So children, just you, you. Then you really get off the topic of you. So now everything's about the children. So, yeah, it's just, it's being able to connect emotionally. And that connection is what we mean by intimacy. That may be just a little trigger that starts you. If you're disconnected. And it's easy to get disconnected.
Tina Marie Scott [00:52:43]:
We're disconnected by all of the technology that's around us, right? Our phones Our jobs, our children, our responsibilities. So we sometimes we get disconnected and we don't even realize. But this just, you know, we recommend, hey, take this on a date night, have a quiet dinner at home, a Netflix and chill, and let's really talk about this. So after we watch a movie, get into the mood. Let's. Let's. Or take five questions a day. Because depending on where you are in your relationship right now, you may not be able to handle all 20.
Tina Marie Scott [00:53:13]:
You might want to take it slow. Let's get to know each other again. And like you said. Right. We're not the same people we were 33 years ago.
Jason Scott [00:53:20]:
No.
Tina Marie Scott [00:53:21]:
So the Tina and Marie that was, that got married, I'm not that same person. I need you to know who I am today. And that's where we fall short. Who am I married to right now? Because the experiences that we've had as a couple has definitely changed me. Right. Being a mom has changed me.
Jason Scott [00:53:39]:
Yes.
Tina Marie Scott [00:53:39]:
You know, being an entrepreneur has changed. So you have to get to know who you're married to right now.
Jason Scott [00:53:46]:
You know, here's. Here's something here. Deborah, Let me. Let me say this. Tina, what's your favorite color? So. So here's the thing. It changes. Now, my favorite color means it's your favorite color, and it doesn't change.
Jason Scott [00:54:02]:
But she'll go, well, I did like red, but I kind of like blue now, so I think I'm leaning towards blue. So I'm going out with pink.
Tina Marie Scott [00:54:09]:
See, I like. I like. It changes.
Jason Scott [00:54:12]:
So I have to stay on my P's and Q's. I have to kind of. I have to kind of pay attention to what she's liking and what she's favoring. Right, Right. So you just can't say that's her favorite color. I know exactly what to get her. I'm going to stay on autopilot, and I'm going to get us something red.
Tina Marie Scott [00:54:28]:
Every time we change, we change like the wind. Right? Like the seasons.
Deborah Kat [00:54:32]:
Absolutely. It's funny, as I was hearing you say that, I was thinking about a friend of mine who's a stylist, and she, you know, she goes back and she styles people, you know, every. I think she said, like, three to five years and she'll notice. You know, they'll start with color.
Jason Scott [00:54:54]:
Right.
Deborah Kat [00:54:54]:
Because that's where they always start. But it changed.
Tina Marie Scott [00:54:57]:
It'll change.
Deborah Kat [00:54:58]:
And she said it's, you know, it's partly due to the seasons and what feels good, but also, like, where is my attention going? I'm really Curious. How did you start, like, tell us a little bit about the podcast. How did, how did that start? And, and yeah, okay, so.
Tina Marie Scott [00:55:16]:
So we've always given couples or individuals or dating people. They've always asked our advice. So it was just a matter of time. We just decided to. Okay, so we've gotten into, you know, married couples club and we've been around married people and people always asked us for advice. So then we said, you know what, we're just going to give in to God's plan for our lives and we're gonna say, okay, yeah, we're going to support you. We're going to. We took our calling and we decided to be the instrument in the institution of marriage and relationships.
Tina Marie Scott [00:55:52]:
So we just decided, okay, well this is what we do. We give advice. What's the best way to get give advice out there to everyone? Let's start a podcast.
Deborah Kat [00:56:01]:
And I love that your podcast. So it's. You go, is it Facebook to podcast so that you can interact?
Jason Scott [00:56:10]:
We have a, we have a two phase to the podcast, right? So we have the recorded, which is just recorded, prerecorded, pre recorded. And then YouTube. And then on Friday we have open forum and then that's on, that's on Facebook, YouTube and then that's also gets uploaded to podcasts. So we have two different types of podcasts.
Tina Marie Scott [00:56:30]:
Well, not one.
Jason Scott [00:56:31]:
Well, well, one is alive and one is a pre recorded.
Tina Marie Scott [00:56:33]:
So what we do is we had the podcast and you know, they're normally prerecorded. So we would pre record them and then we would get a lot of questions. So what we did is we said, well, we'll do a podcast live to give our audience an opportunity to interact. Questions and interact.
Jason Scott [00:56:49]:
Yep.
Deborah Kat [00:56:50]:
That's so good. And that happens on Instagram and.
Jason Scott [00:56:54]:
No, Facebook and YouTube.
Deborah Kat [00:56:56]:
Facebook and YouTube. Great. And so where can people find you?
Jason Scott [00:57:01]:
All right, so well, you can find us@EndableRelationship.com you can find the podcast there. You can find the 20 questions in the book, the manifest, the joy filled relationship. Best selling best selling authors.
Tina Marie Scott [00:57:15]:
Yes, yes, yes.
Jason Scott [00:57:18]:
And social media is. We're everywhere on social media. So we're just at Legendary Relationship. That's Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, tick tock, Pinterest, LinkedIn, all at legendary Relationship Legend.
Tina Marie Scott [00:57:32]:
Just search Legendary Relationship. And it's no s. It's Legendary relationship because Jason and I, we're just doing one relationship.
Deborah Kat [00:57:41]:
I love that. I love that. All right, so in moment I'm going to ask you. We've gone all over the place and it's been a really beautiful conversation, and y'all are amazing. I'm so happy that.
Jason Scott [00:57:53]:
Thank you. And thank you for having us.
Deborah Kat [00:57:55]:
Yes, I look forward to more privilege. But I'm curious, you know, if you. If there's one thing that you want people to walk away from, what might that be? And I'm going to go ahead and give you a moment to pause and think about that, and I'd like you both to answer. But I just want, you know, to invite people to please check these guys out. They are amazing. Jason and Tina Marie have. They have a podcast, they have books. They're all over the place.
Deborah Kat [00:58:28]:
And as you can tell, they have some killer information. And it's what we all need to have. Legendary relationship. So, Tina Marie, one thing. What do you want people to get from our time together?
Tina Marie Scott [00:58:43]:
Self development. It starts with me. Take your eye off your partner or your mom, your dad, whomever. I think self development is the most important thing in a relationship. Self love, self development. It's all about me first, so I can help, so I will know how to love you. Beautiful.
Deborah Kat [00:59:00]:
Thank you. Jason, what you got for us?
Jason Scott [00:59:02]:
I totally agree with Tina Marie, but for me, it is looking from the other person's perspective. You can't always be right. So it's nice to have your opinion and have your. The way you feel about things. It's like, I feel strongly about this, but I'm willing to look from another lens in your perspective to see if maybe I might have missed something. Then we can better understand the challenge. How we like to. How we like to conquer challenges is most of the time, the challenges are between the individuals.
Jason Scott [00:59:44]:
We like to take that challenge, no matter what it is. You can call it whatever infidelity. You can call it whatever financial problems. I don't care what the challenge is, whatever you name it, we take it from between us. Because here's the thing. Someone has to take ownership of that or responsibility, right? So we're looking at the problem or the situation, and we're looking around it. So we're trying to say, I this your fault. You take it, it's my fault.
Jason Scott [01:00:11]:
I have to take it. No, we take that problem. We sit out in front of us, we come together, and then we attack the problem together. We're not looking around the problem. We're not pointing fingers around the problem. We're saying, okay, this is what the situation is. This is my view on the situation. And then Tina gives hers.
Jason Scott [01:00:31]:
We coach people to give their. Their view on the situation. And then how can we actually look at it and understand each other's view and still come out and be okay. It's not a win lose situation. I'm not compromising on anything. I just need to see your view, and then you need to see my view, and then we can.
Tina Marie Scott [01:00:50]:
So that we can come up with a solid solution on how to solve it.
Jason Scott [01:00:54]:
Because sometimes when I compromise. Well, you know, we find that when couples compromise, someone feel like they lost. I gave up something. So if I don't have to compromise, I can still feel heard because you understand my perspective on it. You don't have to always agree, but you can respect my perspective and vice versa, and then we can fix it. The problem is we have a challenge. I have my point of view, and I know my point of view is right, and I always want to be right. So it's hard for you, for me to look at anything that you say if it doesn't.
Jason Scott [01:01:27]:
If it goes against what I feel. So we say look at the other person. Put on the other person's shoes.
Tina Marie Scott [01:01:33]:
See it from that lens, AKA empathy.
Jason Scott [01:01:36]:
Okay.
Deborah Kat [01:01:37]:
Empathy. Absolutely. Well, and I just have to say, you know, hearing you say that, like, I'm feeling a little bit like, oh, yeah, I kind of do that, don't I? I mean, awareness.
Tina Marie Scott [01:01:50]:
That's. That a. In. Manifest the awareness. Right. We can't change what we're not aware of.
Deborah Kat [01:01:57]:
Yeah. And we can't change what we're not willing to admit to either.
Tina Marie Scott [01:02:01]:
Honest. Honesty.
Jason Scott [01:02:03]:
That's right.
Tina Marie Scott [01:02:04]:
We tell the elevation, and elevation takes honesty. If you want to elevate in your relationship or in life, you have to be honest. If. Because you can't lie to yourself. Even when you lie to yourself, you can still feel it. Your inside, your inside still tell you. I don't care what you're thinking or what your mouth is saying. Your insides are sort of like when you tell a story.
Tina Marie Scott [01:02:25]:
Right. You can lie to everybody else and convince them, but you still know you can't lie to yourself. Yeah. I don't care how hard you can't convince yourself because you know, you can say, do I do that?
Deborah Kat [01:02:41]:
I do that. Yes. Oh, my goodness. Jason, Tina Marie, thank you. Thank you for your. The work that you guys have obviously done to have just. It's so good to be in your presence.
Jason Scott [01:02:55]:
Thank you. Same here. Yes.
Tina Marie Scott [01:02:57]:
Yes.
Jason Scott [01:02:58]:
Love the energy.
Tina Marie Scott [01:02:59]:
Yes. And the awareness and the conversation.
Jason Scott [01:03:02]:
Yes.
Deborah Kat [01:03:04]:
All right, so please follow. Follow my guest, teen Marie and Jason legendaryrelationship.com all the good stuff can be found there. The book, the podcast, the words of wisdom the 20 questions. Check them out, support them. And if you know someone who needs this conversation, please go ahead and pass it on. Like subscribe and comment. And thank you so much for listening. Take care.