Elevating Pleasure Through NeoTantra with Caroline Carrington
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with NeoTantra Educator and Pleasure and Intimacy Expert Caroline Carrington. Caroline shares her transformative journey from the corporate world to the rich and empowering realm of NeoTantra. During our conversation, we explore the differences between NeoTantra and traditional Tantra, discussing how dynamic meditations and mantras can act as profound tools for sexual mastery and deeper connection. Caroline provides valuable tips on reconnecting with the body and utilizing the chakras to improve sexual experiences. Along the way, we talk about how to improve communication, sexual stamina and increase overall pleasure. You’ll also be introduced to the powerful effects of sound and vibration during orgasm and the importance of authentic intimacy and learn about Caroline’s resources, workshops, and retreats to deepen your sexual empowerment and connection.
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www.JewelintheLotusCoaching.com
www.SarasaTantra.com
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In our commitment accessibility, help make this podcast more accessible to those who are hearing impaired or those who like to read rather than listen to podcasts. The transcription is far from perfect, and in some cases quite amusing. As we grow edited transcripts are on the list in the meantime please enjoy.
Deborah [00:00:17]:
Welcome everybody. Welcome back to the Better Sex podcast. My name is Deborah Kat and I am your shameless host. This is the Better Sex podcast where we have unfiltered conversation stations about sex and relationships. This show is about the many possibilities of sex and relationship and helping you to figure out what works for you so that you can have better sex and satisfying relationships on your terms. I truly believe that a sexy world creates a happier and a safer world. If you'd like to do your part to help create a safe and sexy world, please hit like subscribe and leave a comment. Today we are going to dive into the world of my guest, Caroline Carrington.
Deborah [00:01:11]:
Caroline is a certified neotantric educator and a pleasure and intimacy expert. She inspires people to live empowered lives across the US and around the world. She is the founder of Sarasa Tancha and carries the dream of this lineage to expand people's experience of pleasure, intimacy and connection throughout relationships. Throughout with play and dynamic and erotic meditation. She is passionate about walking the neotantra out of the bedroom and into the world. I am particularly excited to have her here as we have been colleagues and friends for many, many years across many different experiences. And I am delighted to have her as a guest here so that we can learn more about the world that she brings to the work that she brings to the world and her personal journey. So welcome, Caroline.
Caroline C [00:02:23]:
Thank you so much for having me.
Deborah [00:02:24]:
Deborah, I'm so delighted that you're here. I know that you have quite the story and I'm wondering if you'd be willing to share, like, how did you get here?
Caroline C [00:02:36]:
Right? Well, believe it or not, I actually started off my professional life in the corporate world. I was working in Merrill lynch on one of the largest trading floors in Europe. And then once I arrived in the US, I found myself in a field of hippies in southern Oregon at a ten day workshop, sort of living workshop experience. And I was introduced to something that is neurotantra adjacent called energetic sex. And I already been pretty sex positive. I was already polyamorous and kinky, but being introduced to energetic sex was like opening a whole new world and really turned everything I knew about sex onto its head. And I was eager to learn more. And a month after that, I met another neotantra teacher and we ended up being in a relationship for nine months.
Caroline C [00:03:37]:
And he was so passionate about the practices that neotantra has to offer, and he wanted to train me. So he would literally have me on Tuesday evenings doing 3 hours of breath work just to lay a very solid foundation in my practice. And then we would work through different modalities of neocantra, all the way to him starting to train me to offer private sessions as well. And about six months into this deep dive, he said to me he had taken me about as far as he knew how to take me. So he wanted me to meet his teacher, and my more formal training began. And it was really through experiencing the healing power, particularly around my own trauma and the embodiment practices that neotantra has to offer, that really helped me gain a whole lot of freedom and empowerment for myself. And I was really excited about the shifts I'd been able to make and so wanted to make those available to others as well.
Deborah [00:04:48]:
Beautiful. Thank you. I didn't realize that you started in the corporate world. That must have been quite the switch.
Caroline C [00:05:01]:
It was quite a switch. I was working with all these hedge fund managers and brokers who were all really obsessed with money, and obviously, we all need money to pay our bills and do the things we enjoy, but I really wasn't as obsessed as they all were. So that led me into a much deeper inquiry around what I wanted to do with my life. And it actually took me traveling around the world for three years. So I got to explore different cultures and different ways of doing things around the world. So my fascination with people and what makes them tick and how they express themselves, I really got to explore that pretty deeply in my three years of travel.
Deborah [00:05:49]:
Beautiful. And I'm curious, you used the term neotantra very intentionally, and I'm wondering if you could expand on that a little bit.
Caroline C [00:06:04]:
Thank you so much for asking that question. Well, I really like to differentiate between neotantra, which is this focus on sacred sexuality that most people, when they're referring to tantra in the west, that's actually what they're referring to as this western version, which includes breath work and sounding and some visualizations. But a lot of the focus is around sexuality and improving people's stamina, for example, and learning how to connect more deeply with themselves, their partners, and the divine. At least that's what neotantra means to me. I often say the quickest definition of neotantra is practices to get you out of your head and into your body more deeply. And I like to distinguish between neotantra and tantra because there's this whole body of practices. They're ancient texts and really extensive rituals that come from India, and there's a buddhist path and a hindu path, and then many different paths and variations within those lineages. But it's really quite different to what we practice in the west.
Caroline C [00:07:26]:
There are some crossovers, like, some of the breath work is similar. But, for example, one of the words that often is used in the neotantric world is this word puja, for example, which comes from sanskrit word meaning to worship. And if you look at what happens in a classical tantric puja, they have deities, hindu deities, normally, and they're offering flowers and incense and mantras. And all these really quite complicated rituals, sometimes that you have to be initiated into, are prescribed in texts called tantras. And a lot of what has emerged in the west as tantra, which I'm going to refer to as neo tantra, sort of. It started in India. My understanding is it started with a fellow called osho, who was often said to be the sex guru in India, and he brought it over to the west to really help. Well, he and Mago Anand brought it over to the west to really help Westerners find a new way to meditate.
Caroline C [00:08:40]:
So he took some of the elements of classical tantra, but it's evolved so much over time that the practices look really different. So I don't even use the word pooja in my work anymore. I refer to them as neotantric rituals just to really make sure that I'm not doing any kind of cultural appropriation and really honoring the source traditions from which these come.
Deborah [00:09:07]:
Thank you for that. And I appreciate the distinguished, not just the history piece of that, but distinguishing between the idea of what is traditional with a lineage and what is more of a practice on a personal level. And so I'm. I'm curious. You. You're in the process of developing and expressing and expanding your own. Would you call it a lineage? Would you call it a tradition?
Caroline C [00:09:58]:
Call it a tradition or a school? It's probably the best the word that I would use.
Deborah [00:10:05]:
And do you want to talk a little bit about it?
Caroline C [00:10:09]:
Yeah. So, Sarasa. Tandra is really the word sarasa. We were talking about this before we started recording, but it's a sanskrit word that means juicy and new and full of love. And that's really a lot of what I'm about and how I like to express myself in the world. And it's a unique fusion where I draw from elements of classical tantra. We do chant mantras at all my events, and in my private sessions, I have mantras playing, and I sometimes sing them over the body. And we also do beautiful embodiment practices where we're really empowering people through their sexuality.
Caroline C [00:10:54]:
And that focuses much more on the neocentric practices. And I also weave in an element of bhakti yoga. And bhakti Yoga is another tradition from India, where it's really defined as the Yoga of Love or the Yoga of devotion. And it brings a lot of heart centeredness to the Practices. And again, we actually chant a lot. And for those of you, most people these days have at least heard of a mantra. I'm not certainly trying to convert anybody to any kind of religion, but the essence of what a mantra is is that it's a tool for the mind. And I'd actually spent years trying to learn to meditate before discovering some of these practices.
Caroline C [00:11:43]:
And I remember sitting with the nuns at a buddhist temple in Australia, and I would sit for a whole hour, desperately trying to get my mind to be still. And the truth is, I really wasted most of that time because my mind was so busy for the entire hour that I really wasn't effectively meditating. And it's part of why I'm very passionate about learning dynamic forms of meditation. So mantra is one of them. When we chant, we've got our voice engaged, we've got the brain engaged, and it gives us something positive to put our attention on, which has the most amazing effect of actually quietening the mind. So I actually find sitting practice much easier these days. But in terms of neotantra, what's so lovely is we actually get to use pleasure her as the focal point of our meditation. So most people that come and see me are wanting to learn how to last longer as a lover, especially the men that come and see me, or they want to feel more empowered in their sexuality.
Caroline C [00:12:57]:
And learning how to access pleasure is a really beautiful way to work on oneself, and it can be a really potent way to access transformation. So telling people that they get to focus on pleasure instead of on all the deeper issues, we'll get to those. They often say the issues are in the tissues when you get people excited about, for example, quadrupling their orgasm, which I can teach people through pretty simple techniques, actually. You can learn to really empower yourself and quieten your mind. So I don't know if you've ever experienced this in your work with couples, but so often when I see folks, they're always distracted by the kids or work. And even when they set aside some time for date night, even if they manage to make that happen, if they've been married for a while, they sort of get there and they can't turn off the to do list in their head. So these practices really give us some tools to help quiet that monkey mind to help calm it down so we can drop into being exquisitely present, both with ourselves and our partners. And when we do that, the results are honestly quite astounding with what can happen in the depths of the intimacy and connection possible.
Deborah [00:14:31]:
So good.
Caroline C [00:14:32]:
Yeah.
Deborah [00:14:33]:
I really appreciate your admission of sitting and having such a hard time with sitting meditation, because I think that's a real. One of the things that I often see is not just in the tantra tradition, neotantra tradition, but also in others, where it's like, because we didn't do things right or we weren't able to get the results that we think we're supposed to, then we bring shame into things. And so when that shame monster comes up, we generally will stop doing the thing. And so I love that you found a way that actually works for you. And I think that's one of the beauties of so many of the tools of this practice, is that not only do they help to have more pleasure, have more connection with ourselves and others, but they also help us to see that these bodies are amazing, and sensuality and pleasure is amazing, and that the shame that we may feel doesn't have to be there. And so I know that you have a lot of. You mentioned the monkey mind, and I know one of the pieces that you work on a lot is your monkey mind makeover. And I'm wondering if you could talk a little bit about that.
Caroline C [00:16:21]:
Yes. Well, I used to teach that as a public class, but I mostly share. I've learned that taking students away for a weekend or a week long retreat actually gives them the spaciousness to dive in more deeply. So I normally teach that as part of my retreats these days. But what I mean by the monkey mind makeover is that we use practices like dynamic breath work and chanting mantras. Mantras can be really complicated with my spiritual community. I chant like a 40 verse mantra every day, but that's way too much for most folks. So I start them off with simple mantras.
Caroline C [00:17:06]:
There are different mantras called the bija mantras for the different energy centers or chakras in the body. And that's a way to actually turn your energy body on. And when we chanting, one of the things I love about it is we're not only making sounds, which gives permission for our voice, but we actually allowing ourselves to sing ourselves alive. So, so often people are actually quite repressed vocally, and we've been told either to be quiet as a child, or we've been shamed for having sex. Often when we were first having sex with ourselves through self pleasuring. We had to be really quiet because we lived with our parents, and we just got into this habit of not really giving voice to our pleasure. And I find mantra is a really potent but gentle way that works on the subtle, energetic levels to really help empower the voice. And if you feel empowered in your voice, you can get better at asking for what you want.
Caroline C [00:18:21]:
You can state your boundaries more clearly. You can therefore get your needs met. And that can be in the bedroom, that can be with your kids, if you have children, that could be at work, if you're going to your boss and wanting to ask for a raise. If we feel more juiced up in our whole selves, including in our throat chakra, in this throat center, I find mantra is a really potent way to get that activated. So each time we chant, we're actually empowering our voice, and we can do that a lot of ways. When I work with trauma survivors, for example, who've often taken or had their voices taken away by the perpetrators, sometimes it's appropriate to literally scream no. Or even, I don't know if I'm allowed to curse on your podcast, but even use the f word, okay? So even to say fuck can be a really powerful way to clear out that chakra. So sometimes that's appropriate.
Caroline C [00:19:26]:
But if we want to give a tool for the mind, a simple one line mantra with, like, four or five words can really just help to open up the juices and get the channels flowing and then give us more permission to ask for what we need and what we want in ways we may not have felt empowered to do so before.
Deborah [00:19:50]:
Thank you. So can you take us through? So, first of all, for those who are listening that may not be familiar with the word chakra, would you be willing to take a moment and kind of explain that a little bit?
Caroline C [00:20:12]:
Yes. Thank you. I forget. We know both of us are in northern California, so most people here know what the chakras are. But chakras at the most basic level are energy centers or wheels in the body. And depending on which system, energy system you focus on, even in the yogic texts, they have different systems. Sometimes it's five, sometimes it's seven chakras, sometimes it's twelve. The reality is there are actually chakras or energy centers at every single joint of the body, and it basically helps the energy move through the system.
Caroline C [00:20:54]:
So for some of your listeners who may be listening, going, what is all this energy stuff about? I just tune into better sex, the better sex podcast have better sex. There are actually nerve ganglions at different parts of the body where these chakras are located, and they have different characteristics. So, for example, the root chakra, which can be linked to our perennium, or the anal cavity and the prostate, that is linked to our connection to the ground and the earth, and how stable we feel, and even to the level of abundance we allow into our world. The second chakra, for example, is focused around the sacrum, and for women, it's actually very connected to the g spot. So there are very practical ways where you can access the chakras, but it's amazing to see, especially for women, how much emotion, for example, can be held in these energy centers in the body. And so often memories or trauma triggers can be held there. And until we actually access them, perhaps through touch, even stillness can be really profound. We don't always know how much we're holding on to.
Caroline C [00:22:25]:
The second chakra is often connected very deeply to the element of water and to our emotions. So allowing these chakras to be opened and for the energy to move from the lower chakras to the upper chakras is really what the practices are all about. And for those that are already going, wow, this is sounding far too esoteric, I don't want to learn all this stuff. I just want to have better sex. I get it because that's what I was like when I first discovered these practices. But, for example, one of the things I love to teach is ejaculation, control and mastery. And that's a very technical term for teaching a guy how to have more stamina. So, for example, I'm not even interested in putting my makeup on to have sex for, I think the national average is about two and a half minutes.
Caroline C [00:23:19]:
That seems a little wasteful to me. I want to be able to play for hours with a partner, time allowing, of course, but we've got to be realistic. Especially for men that are hitting middle age, for example, their veracity can sometimes wane a little, and they're not able to recover as quickly as they could when they were sort of 18 or 21. The refractory period is longer, so there are tools and techniques that we can teach to help shift the energy from the second chakra and move it into other parts of the body. So things like full body orgasms are possible, or non ejaculatory orgasms are possible. And that means if you can learn how to not ejaculate every single time you have an orgasm as a person with a penis, then you can actually keep going for as long as you like. And most men are really curious about what it's like or how they can learn to have better stamina in the bedroom. So it's a really fun thing to teach.
Deborah [00:24:30]:
Beautiful. One of the ways that I talk about chakras and opening them is if you imagine a hose, right? And there's water that's trying to move through the hose, and there's a kink somewhere. It builds up on one side, and then there's a deficit on the other. And so when we can untink, if you will, there's a lot more power and water that can move from one part of the body to the other. And going back to talking about the gentleman on the trading floor, when they have all of that energy up in their heads, they're not as in tune to their bodies. And when we're not in tune with our bodies, a, we're missing out a lot on pleasure, but we're also missing out on the many different sensations and ways in which we can play with the body. And I want to bring the attention back to the mantra and the use of the voice and how that vibration. Each of the mantras have different sounds, and the different sounds do different things.
Deborah [00:25:51]:
And I'm wondering if that's something that you can talk about a little bit.
Caroline C [00:25:58]:
Sure. I'm very passionate about that. So there are lots of ways we can turn ourselves on. And I think I want to jump back for a second just to what you referenced about people just being so in their heads, because I know living in the San Francisco Bay area, here in California, we have a lot of people in the tech industry, for example, and they're all brilliant at what they do. For example, they might work for Google or Apple or be some kind of software engineer, but the west is very glorifying of the mind and the intellect, and there's nothing wrong with that. We want to use our intelligence and use our brains. It's a very sexy organ in and of itself. But people often spend so much time focusing on that that they're then disconnected with the rest of their body, really the rest of their instrument.
Caroline C [00:26:52]:
So you're only really playing with one part of self. And the idea is the tools in neotantra help you reconnect with the rest of your body so that all your whole system is turned on, and you're actually able to make pleasure move more freely through the body instead of being trapped in your head and then literally not being able to feel sensation even in other parts of your system. So there are many ways to work with the chakras, and you can do it through ancient practices called yantras. Those actually come from classical tantra, where you have a geometric representation of the chakra. So that's one way, but that involves a lot of visualization and is normally a little beyond what most people are wanting to learn right in the beginning of their journey. As I already referenced, you can do it through touch, so you can literally turn yourself on by touching these different energy centers in the body, and you could tap them or trace clockwise circles to wake them up. But I find mantra is a really potent way to activate them, and it does it in a very subtle way, so it's not overwhelming for the system. And at least in California, most people have at least heard the mantra ohm.
Caroline C [00:28:27]:
So om is found at start of the whole universe. And it's know internationally, many people have heard of that word, even if they're not into indian spirituality of any kind. And the Bija mantras, once you know ohm, you've actually got the sound for one to two of the chakras anyway, so you only need to learn another five more. And they all sound very similar to ohm. So it's a very easy way to help turn yourself on. And as I said, empower the voice at the same time as well.
Deborah [00:29:05]:
And hearing you say that, I am curious about, well, a couple of things. So I love that you brought in touch. And as I'm listening, it occurs to me that in tantra, both traditional and neotantra, there are practices that involve each of the different senses. You mentioned yantra, which is very much about visualization and touch and mantra, and there's also the making offerings of incense and fragrant flowers. And so I hadn't really thought about that before, but it really is a full sensation experience. And I love that you're bringing attention to the sensations in the body so that people can start to notice, like, oh, what am I feeling here? Is it buzzy feeling? Is there a temperature to it? Is there a direction to it? And I know with sound there's a big bringing together of those different sensations. I'm wondering if you'd be willing to take us through a mantra so that we could experience that and then maybe talk a little bit about how that connects to empowerment, how that connects to sexuality. Sure.
Caroline C [00:30:56]:
Well, the sound ohm is really three. I'll just focus on the one mantra because I'm not going to teach all of the beach mantras on this podcast, but if we just play with a mantra. Ohm. First, you've actually, to sustain the sound, you've got to be able to breathe more deeply, because if there's no breath, if there's no prana, then there's no life force in your practice. And literally, on a physiological level, if there's no breath, you're not going to be able to make any sound. You've got to do a deep inhalation, and then you want to allow the sound vibration to move through the body with the letters a, u and then m. So you would inhale deeply and sound out o? Yes. So the more deeply you breathe, the more you can actually learn to sustain the sound and feel the vibrations as they move through the body.
Caroline C [00:32:17]:
And what you'll notice if you're paying attention is when you close your lips for the m sound, the vibration is actually happening on your lips. So you're turning your lips on, but there's a resonant feeling through the body and actually through the skull, even from chanting that one mantra. Now we may be getting off into the esoteric weeds for some of your listeners who, again, are just wanting to have better sex. So let's get back to orgasm and how sound can support orgasm. And I love sharing with my students that you can literally learn to quadruple your orgasm with breath and sound alone. So if you learn to breathe more deeply and if you practice sounding, and sounding can be a mantra. I'm obviously passionate about those, but sometimes it's just a case of literally opening your mouth and allowing the sound to come out as you experience pleasure. So, as I was sharing earlier, so often we learn to dumb our down.
Caroline C [00:33:34]:
And instead of allowing the wave of pleasure to ripple through us and the sound to help expand our pleasure potential, we contract our muscles and we keep our mouths closed and we try and be quiet so we don't disturb the kids or we don't bother the neighbors. I referenced my first neotanthra teacher at the beginning of our talk today. And when I was worried about making sound in the bedroom, I said, what about the neighbors? He said to me, inspire the neighbors. And it can be really hot and juicy to hear your neighbors getting it on from next door. That can be inspiring in its own way. So what I do with my students is I really invite them to open up the mouth on the exhalation. And when I say open, I literally mean opening, as if you can fit three fingers in your mouth, which is quite wide. Most people, they leave enough room for about one finger.
Caroline C [00:34:40]:
So three fingers wide. If I can be a little naughty on your podcast. I sometimes speak it to saying it's like deep throating. You wouldn't want to insult your partner by only opening your mouth a little. You would really want to open wide to welcome all of them in. Absolutely.
Deborah [00:34:59]:
I love that.
Caroline C [00:35:00]:
And an interesting thing happens when we open the mouth and we let the sound come out, we actually are releasing the jaw. And when we release the jaw, if you just do it for a moment as you're listening to this, whoever our listeners are, when you release the jaw, it actually helps relax the pelvic floor. And so many of us are holding tension. And some women, for example, struggle to have orgasms because they're so tight and literally, like uptight down there. And you can use the power of your voice, for example, as you exhaling with some sound to help the pelvic floor relax. And that helps you to open more pleasure. So what I mean by sounding out your pleasure is you would take a nice, rich breath in and give your sound, your pleasure, a sound. Ah.
Caroline C [00:36:04]:
And if you want to quadruple your pleasure when you get to the point of orgasm, I normally train students to have practiced this breathing and sounding for a couple of hours before we get to the point of orgasm. But when we do, you want to take the biggest breath of your life, literally, as if your life depends on it. And inhale deeply and open up the mouth. Ah. And if you keep breathing and you keep sounding, you can keep that orgasm going. And this is what leads to quadrupling that orgasmic pleasure, which is certainly a mind blowing experience for most people.
Deborah [00:36:53]:
Oh, my God, that is so good. And I just want to go back. There are a couple of things I wanted to point out because you went hearing. So, first of all, hearing other people's sounds can be so erotic. And it's something that for most of us, we're not even open to hearing our own sound, let alone someone else's. And unfortunately, many of us, when we hear the sound, it's usually not organic, but it's usually the sounds of porn. And so I think for me and for my own experience, being in a room with other women who were having an orgasmic experience was a profound opening in a what I thought was possible, like, oh, my God, being able to hear an organic orgasm from another woman and actually feel, because the sound vibrates. And being in a room of women orgasming and feeling that vibration, I believe it teaches our bodies what's possible.
Deborah [00:38:22]:
And from my own experience, when I really started playing with sound, when one of my partners put headphones on me so that I couldn't actually hear my own sound, because this is back in the day when I was a little bit more shy about these things, but I didn't make a whole lot of noise. And so what he did was he put the headphones on partly just to take that pressure off of me and off my experience. Because the other thing that I see people do a lot with sound is they get very performative. They will push sound, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. But when we start to hear and feel our own sound and the way that it vibrates throughout our bodies, it just shifts things up. And as you were saying, just using the breath, using the sound, can not only give us a longer experience of orgasm, but allow us to feel it in a different way. For me, it was so powerful to be able to feel. You referenced earlier, a heart orgasm.
Deborah [00:39:49]:
What was it feeling like to actually have this vibration, not just in my genitals, in my pussy, but also in my heart? It's such an incredible gift to play with sound.
Caroline C [00:40:11]:
Thank you. Absolutely. Well, it's interesting because even when we just one on one with a partner, if somebody just lies there and isn't giving much feedback, you don't want to be micromanaging your partner all the time because that can actually shut a partner down. But if you making sounds and letting them know what feels good. I find this a lot, especially with men, but it's true of people of all genders, is that they really want to know they're doing a good job. Like if somebody's offering you the gift of pleasure and giving to your body, it creates this beautiful feedback loop. If you offer some sound and it's going to encourage them and they're probably going to want to give more to you, and it may even turn them on. Right.
Caroline C [00:41:03]:
So instead of it just being a one way directed process, now both of you are really engaged. And as I said earlier, so if we think of the wave, move the mouth closed and you tense the body, the wave is going to hit a wall and your pleasure is going to hit a wall. But if you open up your mouth and allow yourself to sound, and if you shy or embarrassed. I mean, I use music a lot in my private sessions. I'm always music, for example, because it gives people permission. It gives people the space to not be scared to use their voices. And then I'm often making sounds with them to encourage them to sound. So it does take a little bit of practicing to kind of unlearn some of these bad habits that we've picked up sort of as part of the way society has indoctrinated us.
Caroline C [00:42:06]:
So we've got to get back to our sort of more primal nature where we were really able to give voice to our pleasure. And I love that you referenced heartgasms, but people can literally learn to have full body orgasms. And for those of your listeners who don't have a partner, because neotantra, you can do, whether you have a partner or not, you can learn to have full body orgasms all by yourself, just with breath and sound alone. And that's pretty amazing because otherwise it's all just localized to the genitals. Nothing wrong with genitals. They really fun to play with and can give us a lot of pleasure. But if you can expand that to be having orgasms through your whole system and learn to do that for hours on end, you can have a fun Friday night even if you're home alone. And you referenced porn, and I want to jump back to that for a second because I loved what you said about.
Caroline C [00:43:10]:
I think you used the word artificial sounds or performative sounds. I think you said so often people forget that porn is acting. Those are actors on a stage. Nobody learns how to have sex from porn. And unfortunately, more and more that's where people are getting their sex education from, because nobody actually teaches us how to do this, or we just assume that we meant to know and that it's meant to be intuitive. But you wouldn't learn to drive by watching the Fast and the furious, for example. And that's kind of what we're doing when we try to learn how to have sex from porn. Not that it's not fun to turn some porn on from time to time, but it really is acting.
Caroline C [00:44:04]:
And most people don't have sex in the same way that the porn stars are doing it anyway. So most of them are just making. Sometimes you can even hear it. You can sort of hear that they are putting on the fabricated sounds because they're getting paid a lot of money to perform for you and they make it look really hot and sexy. But isn't necessarily even that pleasurable for some of the actors either. So we want to inspire people to authentic, embodied, real connection and real pleasure. And I believe to doing that in a really authentic way.
Deborah [00:44:49]:
So I am noticing that I'm super excited and very turned on by this conversation, feeling the sounds and being in your company. And I'm curious, how can people get a hold of you? And what are you excited about going into the new year. So the question was, what are you excited about and how can people get a hold of you in the new year?
Caroline C [00:45:33]:
Thank you for asking. So you cut out there for a second, which is why I didn't initially respond. Yeah. So the easiest way is to check out my website. You can go to carolinecarrington.com and if you hop on my newsletter, I send you free tips and tools and videos to inspire you on your journey. And I also have information and discounted tickets to my workshops and retreats. I do teach internationally and I like to teach in group because you can drop in, for example, for a three hour workshop with me and actually come, whether you've got a partner or not, and come and just enjoy. Learn how much fun and pleasure you can have even with your clothes on, and leave after 3 hours with a whole lot of tools in your toolbox and probably at the very least some new friends, if not some phone numbers for people you want to stay connected with.
Caroline C [00:46:40]:
But really for a deeper dive, it's possible in my weekend or week long retreats. And there we've really got the spaciousness to journey through, breath, work into mantra, and really take a lot of these embodiment practices and focusing, for example on touches and meditation and turning our bodies on, even with our clothes on. If you want to clothes off, you got to come and see me one on one for a private session. But yeah, the things that can happen even in a weekend are really life changing for folks. So I think, yeah, that's really the best way. Sign up on my mailing list, my website and my website also has quite a lot of free resources that people can enjoy and then they can reach out to me to find out when my next retreat or workshop is. And if one's not happening in your area, you can always reach out to me and find out if I can come and visit you. So I'm happy to travel to share some of the gems that neotantra has to offer.
Deborah [00:47:51]:
Thank you so much. And I just want to give a shout out. Her emails are really great. It's definitely one of the mailing lists that I'm on and I look forward to opening up and learning more about myself, about pleasure, about what is possible in the sensuality and sexuality world. So I just want to say again, a big thank you to my guest, Caroline Carrington. Please follow her on social media and if you want to help bring more love and better sex worldwide, please subscribe, like and comment wherever you get your podcasts. And again, thank you so much, Caroline, and I'm hoping.
Caroline C [00:48:56]:
Thank you so much, Deborah. It's been really fun to talk to you today.
Deborah [00:48:59]:
Oh, beautiful.